I wrote a post yesterday about my experience and feelings on automated direct messages and people failing to “engage” so today I want to know, why do you socialize?
One of the comments I got on yesterdays post was that everyone is selling something. Are they? Are you? What are you selling? I think there are a lot of people that are selling or promoting intentionally but how they do it is what makes the difference in my opinion.
If you own a business and you use social media to build a network of people who might be interested in your service and humanize those efforts I think that is great. If you are a business that just sends out your URL and nothing more, offering no value or reason for people to notice you, I think that isn’t great.
I never started interacting in this space to build business; I started because I like people. In the last two plus years has that changed? Yes it has, as I discovered that I could do both at the same time, a much more effective use of my time. I have fun and I get to help people with real estate and now with social media. I learn something new every day.
The most difficult part of social media I believe is that a lot of people don’t “get it” – get how to interact, engage and grow. I am a people watcher and I enjoy analyzing what other people are saying and doing. I observe the patterns and the nuances. I look at their bio’s and blogs; sometimes I pick a specific person and try to find the “secret” behind their interactions. It is just what I do and how my brain works, I enjoy figuring things out.
We all have something to sell. Whether it is a product, service or ourselves as human beings – we each put something out there hoping someone will respond and show interest. The human need for validation is strong. I talk about “own it” a lot, to me that means coming to terms with the things we are not comfortable with, no matter what that is. So maybe it is time to own your own reason for being here? Sales isn’t such a bad word is it?
mayaREguru - #OwnIt, Snark, Social Media & More 
Spot on, Maya!
I believe the key is honesty: most people just aren’t. And I don’t mean that in a deceitful way. I don’t believe people intentionally misrepresent themselves (for the most part), they’re just not being honest with themselves when they don’t engage others in social media.
I mean, why else are you here?
I do sell something on Twitter — myself. I learned a long time ago thru my blog that it’s both possible and probable that you WILL make friends — REAL friends — via social media, who are every bit as viable as those you might meet face-to-face in everyday life. It’s all a matter of how honestly you present yourself.
The advantage is that social media often breaks down the interpersonal barriers we often stumble over by making the personality — i.e.: the essence of a person — first and foremost in the engagement process. They can’t see you, but they can get to know you in a way that usually only happens to people who meet on that TV show, ‘Blind Date.’ 🙂
What it boils down to is this, IMO: if you’re not putting yourself out there on Twitter, FB, etc., and instead are presenting only a business or some idealized version of you, you’re doing yourself and everyone else a disservice.
Be real. Try it. You’ll like it. And chances are, so will everyone else.
Thanks AJ! Well put!! Always great to hear from you!
You gotta be in it to win it right? 😉
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Thanks for the mention Margie! And please read her post, GREAT post which really is thought provoking.
She provoked me, that’s for sure.
I agree. I think this message needs to be spread among Social Media participants more. WAY MORE.
People DO flock toward the genuine, the sincere, the open and unapologetic (unapologetic is not the same as unkind, you understand).
And the way to get to that place is not to try and cover as much ground as possible in every singe way (hare), but to cover the ground you’re going to cover going steadily toward your goal (tortoise) – whatever that may be. <–not that a genuine approach will always be slow. It could very well be the opposite.
I think the biggest problem is people are out there selling training on how to do social media but all they are selling is how to sell. Did I use sell too many times there?
I think the key – and what I educate people on – is to understand the why and how before you ever even start.
Slow and steady it is – early adopters too… the digital natives and people who instinctively “get it”.
Thanks for the comment, very insightful!
I focus on building relationships with people on Twitter….I know a few of the people following me but not all of them…it is interesting to watch what others are saying and gage interactions with them.
Oh you are a “people watcher” like me. I love watching the interactions as they flow by, and following conversations. Interjecting when I feel like it. I enjoy watching patterns evolve and interactions grow and blossom.
It also helps in finding people that might connect well and bring more to each other.
While you are building and watching, see if any of those people could benefit from you connecting them. You never know what kind of magic you might create.
Thanks Jay for taking the time to visit. =)
Heya, Maya!
I socialize because I want to help myself by improving my communication skills.
If I’m ready, I’ll promote a product and meet lots of people! ;-). Right now, in my condition, it ain’t easy. It sounded more like impossible.
“I started because I like people.” <– We're similar but I'm still breaking my inner shyness 😉
I don't usually comment on websites but this one made me talk, lol. Thank you 🙂
Hi Jerome!
Thanks for commenting, I am honored you did! And just step right out there and be you!! Don’t even worry about the inner shyness, you will find your way and become comfortable in no time. Everyone is really very helpful and encouraging, in my experience. =)
Nice to meet you!
maya
Hi Ms. Maya,
I socialize because I love to LEARN! I also much prefer helping people to selling…. Doesn’t help my bank account, but I don’t want anyone ever feeling my interest or friendship has ulterior motives involved.
I knew I liked you for a reason, aside from how fabulous and caring you are, I am the same way! =) Thanks Susie!
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