The Facebook Friend thing really grates on my nerves. Zuckerberg is running around telling people what the value in a Friend is. Seriously dude? With your ridiculous number of years on this planet you are the “Friend” expert? Don’t kid yourself kid. Do you even KNOW what a friend is? You are using the word “Friend” to describe the most casual of all acquainted relationships. These are NOT friends, these people are acquaintances – at best.
I do wonder when I get a “Friend Request” from someone who says “Hi, we follow each other on Twitter!” So? I follow Courtney Love for the amusement, doesn’t mean I want to go hang out with her right? Lindsay Lohan is another fun train wreck to follow – seriously? Hey Zuckerberg, could you make up your mind about WHAT Facebook is, because I am really tired of playing with privacy settings, and deciding whether I will delete my account because I don’t want to violate the royal “TOS” by posting a Posterous link to a listing photo. Oh and don’t poke me people, or throw sheep at me, or send me stuff for a farm, I don’t play your Facebook games. Color me a spoil sport, I did that back in 2006 and I got over it then.
When I think of a relationship, I think of someone who I might converse with regularly, or communicate with a regular basis in whatever fashion. Who might ask how I am, or care when something is going on. So when I hear about building “relationships” (that post is coming soon), I think of friends. So earlier tonight I tried to figure out who are my friends. Do you know what? I am so confused, I am not sure I know what a friend is anymore? So I am going grassroots, throw out the Merriam Webster definition and take it to what I think a friend is, and therefore someone I would have a relationship with:
1. A friend is always there, always quick to respond, to lift me up, to ask me to lift them up, to call out when they had a rough day, to be there when I had a rough day.
2. A friend is someone I can tell anything to, and they can handle it, welcome it, and cherish and value that I trust and respect them enough to share whatever the deepest emotions, scars, challenges or triumphs with.
3. A friend is someone who knows when to ask how you are, and not let it drop until you tell them. A friend KNOWS you well enough to know when something is wrong. They care about you.
4. A friend is the person who can read your mood, situation, circumstance by your facial expression, voice, or tone in an email.
5. A friend asks how you are and REALLY wants to know, isn’t just being polite and making conversation to avoid awkward silence (Alex, I will take Awkward Silence for $1,000 please anytime).
6. A friend is a legitimate part of your life – a friend cherishes and values you in return, and whether you talk daily, or once every few months, or years, you are always friends, always have a place in each others lives and hearts. Time and distance don’t matter.
How many friends do you have? I think I have 2. I would like to have a lot more. How many people am I a friend of? Far more than that. It isn’t reciprocal, and I get that. Doesn’t mean I am not disappointed at times, but better to know where you stand, then it doesn’t matter how I stand. Some people I have called a friend, eventually show their true colors, and I recognize that, maybe they don’t know how to be a friend? It doesn’t change the fact that I still value them, and will be there if they need me. It does sadden me to think that perhaps they don’t really know what friendship is, or how to handle being a friend.
It is indeed a lonely – lonely world, for some people. Not me.
How many TRUE friends do you have?